Friday, July 4, 2014

Not wanting to have Children?...THINK AGAIN

In recent times, a topic of this nature would always cause emotions and indifference on so many levels. In fact, the internet is spun into frenzy at any slightest Google search on the topic. Lol. I am not going the culture route, before you “cultural voltrons” attack me, after all we all know that we are in the 21st century and cannot be doing what our parents did even some 3 decades ago. While times have changed, I will not reduce myself to talking about what will happen to those who never want to procreate in “our culture that is”! Back to the matter before us, allow me ask a simple question. If your spouse wakes one day to tell you that they do not want to have children. What would you do? SO I ask you guys to be honest with me would their decision of not wanting to bear you children cause a strain on your relationship?

Well, I think that the reasons could be one for health reasons more than economic hardship. I could also use other reasons such as difficulty( with child bearing as some women may have recounted to their female friends) or low sperm count as the case with the men). And last for fear of a damaged body. You know all those sagged boobs, those stretch marks, and a widened vah-jay-jay (ask your momma this)! Looking at it another way, your real existence is more of a responsibility than wanting to raise and care for a child I mean not like the baby would be needing extra things aside the love, clothes, a beautiful home, and all of the luxuries of this life and more. I would think that anyone who really wants the above should be able to do so to another being without ever batting an eye.. No be so? Again, I am no judge!

For me, I have never known I would be so much in love with another being. At some point, I have always thought myself as a narcissist. Ever since becoming a mother, I mean the moment that my little girl came forth, and that the nurses had to place her on my chest. From the cuddling, and the cries that ensued, I knew just from that moment that I no longer was a narcissist. I could literally give up everything just to make her smile. As if that was not enough, I remember us pulling up to a McDonald’s drive through on one Cold Saturday morning to buy our usual (French fries and Chicken) that is. I yawned, and she goes “Mommy are you tired?” at 21 months. I looked again just so to ascertain it was her speaking to me from her car seat behind. I said yes baby with a tear rolling down my cheek. This is just one of the things that daily endear me to her.  Do I sometimes feel like I’m overwhelmed with taking care of her? Heck yeah! I won’t start making up stories on how she’s such a beautiful girl and one not capable of any wrongdoing. Or that I’ve never spanked her tushy, because then I would be lying, but part of the pain is also good for testing how good a parent you are.

Again, I will not be quick to judge people based on the above reasons of health, economic, social, and physical. But if I were to do this again, I mean if I were to birth more kids, I would do so in an instant..

Hope you guys are honing your craft? Have a good Friday!!!


  1. Gift, great topic. Would love to hear more about what you think is causing this phenomenon. Maybe so we could hear both sides?

  2. Ok....I won't be deterred. Typing for the third time and this had better get published you this data of mine, agent of online frustration.

    Where was I?.....ok am at retyping my an abridged version of the very first two *sad face*

    Anyway, I think those who chose not to have kids on non-health grounds, but for fashion and want of a special body that will still sag anyway after menopause should try having just one child and see if they wouldn't lover immeasurably. Though I must recognise those exceptions to womankind who can even kill their own children, those ones should pls don't have kids and lobe just themselves toll they die.... have read very sad case files.

    Hello Gift, as usual always a pleasure reading from you even if it's 1am in the morning. *winks*

    Keep the thought rolling and pple like me wide awake at wee hours like this one.

  3. Thanks guys for the feedback... Franny, I will be working on yet another episode, when I do, I'll let you know what the other party thinks. @Abikoye, I'm so sorry your data kept misbehaving. Glad you got that straightened out. Thank you for the kind words. You are one of those who make this a reality.