Every Woman Needs Their Girlfriends…

This blog post was inspired by one that I had read via a mutual friend’s page on Facebook, and I thought it would be very nice to share with you guys so to evaluate your relationships. lol

Lately, I just asked myself if truly I had girlfriends. I mean those ones that you guys could literally cry, laugh and cry again leaning on each other’s shoulders. But the answer I got didn’t quite surprise me. Yes! Because some people are only around you when it’s beneficial. Or could even be all lovey- dovey.  But I digress.

Kari was at the beach some years ago, and could hear the laughter of women in earshot. She presumed they were in their late 60s. Later that day, she was in an elevator with them and commented on how close they seemed, and what made their laughter so loud. They answered that they have been having this beach trip going for twenty years, and have been through everything- cancer, divorce, death etc. The older you get, the more you’ll need them. Oh my goodness! That’s such a long time right? Anyway, I am going to talk about Emily she is the one her friend Kari had blogged about. Emily’s husband (Joe) had died and before his death, Kari knew that the duo were no ordinary couple. They were very close. The death of her husband came as a shock. It happened that when Kari arrived at Emily’s home, she saw that all of Emily’s friends (from adolescence, college, law school, work and motherhood) had driven by or flown in to help plan the funeral. She also reckoned that they all recalled pertinent details of Joe’s life. As I read, I was hoping that the ladies would only handle the small issues while Emily would fill in the blanks. Just because they knew her and her husband well, they did a lot to lighten up their friend.

As I typed, I began to wonder how many of our friends are willing to be vulnerable before their friends.  Especially in our own country where religion and culture are interwoven, people would rather not want to share details of their relationship, and it’s even a taboo for a married couple to share anything with anyone. One would think that in the church, it would have been easier, but no one wants to be purged or judged of opening a can of worms. Times again have changed, especially these days that economic hardships, divorce, unemployment, and high mortality rate is fast becoming a global phenomenon. No one is an island, when all else fails, you girls should be able to do bible study, go shopping, meet each other over lunch and do all other fun stuffs. The older you get, the more you’ll need them to help you cope through life. Every right thinking woman should never do away with their girlfriends.  God uses our women folk to help us become the hands and feet of Jesus. While our male counterparts equally try to do their own best, they simply cannot understand us like ourselves.

Being a good friend also means that you too are a strong and reliable friend. I hope this post comes off as a reminder that our girlfriends matter in good times, bad, laughter and tears, and through the high and lows of our lives. As this is an indicator of who’s really with us, and who is willing to share in our moment of laughter and joy. So next time when we are laughing in an elevator, we would be proud to share the history that makes the laughter, the cries so real that it piques the curiosity of everyone in earshot.

If you enjoyed this article and would like to read more, please visit www.KariKampakis.com

 

Motivational Monday: That Appointed Time

There is nothing I hate more than when I don’t feel like I’m fulfilled or when I feel like I am yet to reach a certain target that I had set for myself. If this is happening or has happened to anyone, then this is relatable. Then again, I just happen to realize that things happen either by chance or it’s another way of God telling us that our time hasn’t come yet. Life really is turn by turn. There is an appointed time for everything as with every man. There is a time you must walk before you drive, another time you must eat a meal a day or nothing at all to eating thrice a day. .. The moment you start to compare your life and or progress with someone else, you miss the goal. Thankfully, competition has never really been my forte. For instance, I know that my destiny is not the same as my daughter’s and vice versa. It makes no sense trying to second guess the answers to all of the whys and what ifs.  So why would I ever want to sweat the things that I do not have instead of focusing and or strategizing on how to be a smart worker?

Moral of this is, whatever gives be content, and knowing that the your own appointed time to arrive is only a few hard work away, will go a long way. Nothing in this life is permanent. The reasons we do not know the answer to our delays are so that they could help us stay humble and content when we must have finally “arrived.”

Remember to put your best foot forward in July as with the remainder of the months in 2014!

All About Me / Love and Sex..... Lesson 2

Remember the 'If you  ever wondered HE could cheat' post  that was posted sometime in May? Well, here is a continuation of that series.  The Lesson number 1 was to trust yourself which makes me move unto the lesson of today

Lesson 2:  Be a 'ME' Before You are a 'WE'

It is better to pursue your career, pick up that job that you deserve, have that bank account you've always wished you had, establish that business idea. So that when things finally go down (not that yours truly is hoping that they do) , you can be able to conveniently bounce back  and forge ahead. Some faithful believers would dismiss this argument, and say to pray that one's relationship never goes south. Do you really blame them? No! They are very right, but I would still stand my grounds on this one that every thinking man in a relationship or not should make it their priority to either do the above or do whatever it is that would ultimately make them happy.

Life can be hard, especially when the society has set standards for us. But believe me guys when I say that this same society will never have your back if you decide never to go with the pack. No one can promise you tomorrow but yourself... In any case, you should be ready to fight some fights alone, and be you not someone who's trying so hard to be a man pleaser or one who loves to live in another person's shadows.

I loved today's weather. Not so hot neither was it so cold. May  be that was the inspiration for the post you think? May be not. Lol.  Cheers to having overcomed that  Monday fear that 'so easily beset us' lol

Letter to My Mom on her Birthday…

Dear Mother,

Just when I thought I had seen, known it all, you continue to inspire me with so much from that well of knowledge that the Almighty himself had endowed you with.. I cannot begin to tell you how much we hate to love all of the morning devotions that you indirectly call out each and every one of us from across the room. I remember the very first time I shaved all of my brows (Titfam you caused it, LOL) a day to my matriculation… and the next morning, you preached about it. Remembering that incident and others (Oh, and that love letter you gave me a scar for accepting a letter from the chap at my GCE lesson) which you’ve spoken about in recent times makes me even more thankful knowing that you have our best interests at heart.

I can’t begin to express all of my gratitude to God for keeping you because then I would be considered an Author in an instant. I know He has many more years, and good things planned out for you. You just need to remain calm and thankful so that He would perfect all of the many covenants He’s made with you. Mom, you give us joy, happiness, and yourself to those whom you make acquaintance with.

I also want to tell you again like I did on Monday of the importance of taking your Calcium, Iron pills, Garlic and Moringa seeds. If possible, I will also look for the bath and laundry soap for you, because our priority for you is to stay healthy and fit, so why wouldn’t you anyway? lol

For being a faithful mother, I do hope that you find humor in that little surprise everyone planned out for you…On behalf of my brothers, sister and Kolombo we want to wish you a Happy Birthday. And we say OWN it mom you still don’t look a day older than 47!

P.S WE LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!

P. P. S it is not late to catch the Moringa fever. It has proven to be very effective. So my dear readers do not wait until later to start.

 

Photo Credit: YourBirthdayQuotes.com

5 Things I hate, the 6th is an ABOMINATION Ep. 1

Hey guys! I know many of you are as terrified as me upon reading the blog title huh? Don’t you worry, you will soon find out why.

Ever Since I moved back to Nigeria.. I am still confused whether to continue to stick to the word relocate or visit… But I digress. Ever since returning back to Nigeria, I have continued to imagine the things that people do here, those that could almost make one’s head explode from thinking them through! In no particular order, you will find out those things that irritate me more than anything else. Again, these are from my own experiences.

Number 1: Unsolicited Advice

When an older woman sees you, or those you perceive to be older than you (say age 35 or so), they always feel the need to offer you a firsthand account on how you should take care of your child. It has been raining cats and dogs these days, and little me, got a cold. I took her to see her peds yesterday. And I was eating akara (which by the way has been a breakfast ritual). Once, we settled in the lobby to have them pull out our card, this woman with her own baby on her back in the rain (hawking puff- puff and donut) came to me,  and here was the short but uncomfortable chat we had:

 Her: “Madam don’t give that girl that dry akara, she needs water”. This made me uncomfortable, and everyone had their gaze fixed on me.

Me: Without holding back, I immediately said you do not have any right whatsoever to tell me how to care for my child. She’s mine and not yours can you just face your business already? Mind you, yours truly knew that was petty to reply to her, (I did because it has repeatedly been happening to me) just while we were walking from the parking lot to the office, She had demanded for water, I gave her. What gives her the right to open her mouth to speak?

Her: In Yoruba she said “emi ko ni dasi oro oloro mo. Translated- I will never have to poke my nose into what’s not my business

Me: Nigba ti e mo be, kilode t’ese d’ake?  Translated- When you knew that common sense like this existed, why did you care?

 Has this ever happened to anyone but ME? Please feel free to share your experiences.

Happy Thursday!

For the times you want to Talk, Think and Speak logically…

Like most people I know (except the never see evil, do evil type) I know we all are as guilty as charged when it comes to talking idly/recklessly.  I hate to liken us to people having a “diarrhea mouth” but in a sense, some of us can open our mouth and spit $*%$& and not say anything reasonable.

Today’s blog post will be a summary of how to be logical with our ways of thinking, speaking and acting. This could also be a good tool for those of us who are always quick to blaming the devil for any mishap. Are you ready?

Rule 1: Law of Identity: Things are what they are whether we like them or not. As in eh, you must put up with some things in this life. Example at Shoprite (Nigeria), when you approach the guards by the door, they must tear your receipt either you like it or not. Lol The fact/ rule will not bend to meet your own expectations. It is a reality for now, and not how you would wish it to be. In essence, be ready to deal with facts.

Rule 2: Law of the Excluded Middle: Let your “yea be yea” and your “no be no.” Always give a straight yes or no where necessary. There is no middle ground or sitting on the fence if I were to put this politely. The law is not to try to keep your opinions open by staying in the middle or hedging when it conveniently favors you. No half way measures, no middle ground. You have to make up your mind, and stand for your ground for whatever your decisions and or commitments are.

Rule 3: The Law of Non- Contradiction:  Do not contradict yourself. It is as simple as that. If you say you’ll be there, be there! Don’t say or fight for one thing, and the next minute you’re doing just the opposite. Be consistent in your thoughts and actions. Can I hear someone say amen? You will be considered a flip flop, a negative Nancy, a pessimist. Can someone please borrow me words from the Thesaurus?  Don’t be confused, easily misled or at best be a lunatic who has no clear understanding of the basics. Basically, you are showing responsibility when you begin to demand for people to follow through on the things they say they would do.

Hope you’re not having a slow day today.…

 

Tags: ynaija.com

Reason Why I am looking forward to the Weekend

Hi lovers! I will be moving house tomorrow, into a big one for that matter. It is so big that everyone gets to have their own room and the guests too. Lol. But there is room to share with your favorite especially when your sins may want to haunt you at night (Chuckles). Another reason I say that the house is a big one is that during our play time, it may be difficult for my tot to find her mommy. Guess that’s always the fun part. I want to say that I am also lucky I will be getting away from some ‘neighbors’. Anyone have a neighbor that constantly pounds at 4am in the morning right on top of your head?  Or worse, those who tend to use the rest room at every 15sec /hr.. Talking about space I, like many people will be happy running away from the troubles in my life (In Craig David’s voice). Who wouldn’t like to own their own space, or their own room? I’d love to have one special room that would most probably look like a fabric/ shoe and or purse house while another room would be strictly for my bed. (Though, I claim to not possess this much space). However, the simple fact that I get to hang up all of my picture frames, and have my room themed “Hello Kitty” makes the move all worth it this weekend. I will be posting up pictures after my room is well arranged and looking picture perfect.

Cheers to the frigging Weekend and Cheers to my tummy for accepting to comply with the compulsory fast during this time!!

In case you ever wondered if “they” could ever cheat…Read this!

In case you ever wondered if “they” could ever cheat…Read this!

When it comes to reality TV shows, I would prefer to be called a junkie in that regard.  Please allow me tell you all about the shows I enjoyed watching so much the whole of last year. These are ‘The Real housewives of Beverly Hills and The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Needless to say, all of the Housewives shows out there have in more ways than one, won a fan over. In all of the shows, however, I would immediately have a liking for one or two cast members,   In the case of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. The two people I love from the show are Brandi Glanville who is very outspoken. This lady could literally wash you and take out to dry on the line. She is a no-nonsense person.  I also love Lisa Vanderpump. Why? May be its something with the Brits, but I just like the fact that when she talks about anyone, she can be so bold to talking about it in your face. She is a typical me -feisty, I would say! lol But I digress.

 I would like to talk a little about relationships today. I once read a story from Glamour (May 2013 publication) on my cast member Brandi Glanville about her break up from ex- husband Eddie Cibrian (who had an affair with Country singer LeAnn Rimes). From her revelations of what happened exactly, she has learned 9 things of which I have chosen to blog about BUT on a separate post. Anyway, Brandi who once opined to the fact that her marriage wouldn’t fall apart without a fight, is now grateful that she survived the mess intact and wants us to learn from her very public agony. She calls her experience a heartbreaking one, and hopes that this truth will set you free.

 Number one lesson is to learn to Trust Yourself

In any relationship, you just have to trust your gut on this stuff. When your heart tells you otherwise follow through on what you’re hearing, or what you perceive, before you walk yourself to an early grave as a result of heartbreak. Brandi would say that she suspected her ex-husband then. She gave instances where he would be on the phone with some lady, when she asks; he always says it’s his co-worker, and all that. I know some of you reading this would want to cut off my head already by saying that a partner should be trusting of their partners. But hoooneey, there is no bad thing asking. If you smell a rat, trust yourself to open thy mouth and ask. In case you don’t know what they say of assumptions. They say it could be the mother of all fuck ups. In other words, it is better that you ask, than to assume or ever be left heartbroken. Y’all heard?

Tags: Brandi Glanville, Real Housewife of Beverly Hills, Celebrity, Glamour

 

 

Babe Vs. Baby. Which do you prefer to be called and why?

These are a general form of endearments no doubt, but do you guys think that one may be going too far when they refer to you as this person’s “babe” or ‘baby”? You must know that these terms however, are restricted to just the “significant other’ than Pet, Love, Dear, Honey etc. Plus Baby seems to have stayed around than most. Again, this is most common in American English and the American culture refers to one’s lover or significant other as “baby” or “babe.” But the Brits have a different opinion. While I researched this topic, I came to realize that the young people in UK (Particularly females) use babes as a singular pronoun when talking to just anyone (but again, particularly to females). By the way, this blog post was inspired by a BBM broadcast I saw today that had me thinking if really there was a difference between “babe” and “baby”. If you want to know my thoughts, please continue below.

Babe –aka chic (except that I hate to add the k that makes one feel like a hen birthed them) is someone a guy is not that into (heard of that phrase before?) A lady or woman may hate to be called that by strangers. For instance, a guy says something about a hot girl he doesn’t know “she’s a babe’ or to a hot girl whose name he doesn’t know “hey babe” For me, I’d get offended if been referred to as a babe by someone who I don’t know from Adam.

Baby- this term is mostly used by those in an intimate relationship. It is more for couples. For me, it means “I adore you” but has a slight implication of “you’re so cute” attached. But I would be a little insulted if someone other than my “personal person” calls me that. I hope I didn’t just overanalyze that hahahahaha.

From a guy’s perspective now, I think people start out calling each other “baby” more than they do “babe” because it just sounds cute, but when you are with your girl for a while and you’ve gotten used to her, all of a sudden you start calling her “babe” I think it’s more of a laxed way of calling her “baby.” Basically, I’d like to venture that “baby” as a pet name is directed much more by men towards their women than vice versa. I’m yet to have any direct evidence on this point as yet. This is because neotenous features such as large eyes, fine hair, and high voices are important in determining women’s attractiveness.  Notice that babies also share the same attributes.

But guys whatever you decide to call your partner, or whatever you would have them call you, I think it’s best to have an understanding before your choice of endearments is seen as offensive. Or better still, getting a lovers’ manual should prove useful..(Not kidding).  If I were asked for instance  if my man calls me “Shawty” as a form of endearment, how would I respond?  While this would easily irk me, I’d just say in the absence of endearments you could use my middle name huh? But more importantly, just make sure that the endearments he or she uses on you cannot/ should not be used on anyone else, at least to my own understanding. You call that overanalyzing abi?

Tags: www.answerology.com, www.english.stackexchange.com

Motivational Monday

Hi there! I just wanted to leave us with a quote that should help kick off this new week on a A-Positive note,  and also push us to making more “moola’ as some of you cool kids call it. It is one by a very dear person to me, I am yet to meet and feel her, but I may have seen her at a distance. Can you guess her?

I hate that you would sweat it, but this is how I like to play with my friends’ looool. Anyways, here it is, hope you like!

                                      “You can make money and have a nice degree.

                        But what are you learning about giving back to the world, and

                                      Finding your passion and letting that guide you as

                                        Opposed to the school that you got into?” ---MO.

 

The implication of this is that one should look for a career motivated by passion, not just by money. Because when the chips are down, you would never have to regret having to choose between doing what you like and doing a job that you’re not happy with. (This sounds very familiar, well let’s leave this for another day). Money will only make a difference when you owe a lot of it. Remember this!!

 

Tags: Michelle Obama, Biography,  Liza Mundy

Nostalgic Thursday…

You know that sorta feeling you get when listening to an old school song. Hold up! Did I just say Old School? Yup! Yours truly is getting older. lol.  Well, this album “Human” from Brandy Norwood had got to be my favorite. This album was released December 08, 2008,  and while this album is unique surely, my favorites are numbers 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 10, 13 (which of course takes me to another world)  the rest are ‘non- skip’ songs. Please take a moment to view the album songs;

1.      The Definition

2.      Warm it up (With Love)

3.      Right Here (Departed)

4.      Piano Man

5.      Long Distance

6.      Camouflage

7.      Torn Down

8.      Human

9.      Shattered Heart

10.  True

11.  A Capella (Something’s Missing)

12.  1^ST & Love

13.  Fall

14.  Gonna Find my Love

15.  Locked (Locked in Love)

I was just listening to' True' that’s number 10, and the lyrics just got me thinking..There is nothing worse than being in love alone,  not being the ONLY for your partner, and for your partner just to be having fun with your heart makes it a harder pill to swallow.  That one  na serious Gobe (In Davido’s voice). Been in love takes maturity. The two people must be trusting of one another. If you are not feeling your partner tell them politely let them walk out or erase you out of their lives forever. But leading people on, is something that I know is unforgiveable.  The last line in the bridge of this song says ‘it wasn’t real when you said I love you.” Made me remember one of the quotes I had seen some time ago.

 

 

 

Tags :  Brandy Norwood, Human, Celebrity , Ilikequote.com

 

 

 

 

 

An Unforgettable Faux pas

You know what they say ( of the assumptions) that men don't care if you got your hair , nails or your false lashes done...

Well, I'd like to tell you about a  recent faux pas or gaffe (if you would) that just happened less than 5 minutes ago.

A man comes into an office where I was and just as he was done having inquired about whatever it was that brought him there in the first place, he turned to me and asked whose name and number he should write as a contact. I answered " your wife's except that you don't know her number. I saw something on his face that read  'Hey lady I am a millennial man and a cool one like that too'  which means I know so much that I can even begin to tell you the color of the panties and or lingerie she had on before stepping out of our home.' -

Moral of this is that assumptions will not do anyone any good. That belief that men don't remember, don't care, or are never interested in women's affairs is so sloppy, and mind you these happened in those days, not these times. These men know, I mean very much. There's so much information on just about anything. I made a mistake, and also learned from it, though the memory may be long lasting.


I am feeling like this right now, except that I don't look anything like her.

To Invest or Not to Invest In A Camera

Happy New Month my lovers!


I was a guest at  this wedding ceremony this past Saturday and to my horror, there are literally no pictures whatsoever to show as proof. I wasn't a Party Crasher, however, but not having several pictures to 'idly browse through at every second' , just made it really really bad.... I blame that on the power failure that hasn't been fixed since Thursday. Yes, frigging DemoCRAZY day. Had there been light, I would have at least taken some pictures using my 'Crackberry.'


The part that 'pained' me the most was seeing Dare Art- Alade emcee at the reception (Yup, I saw him, but was unable to FAMZ him Chai- DARRIS GOD OH!)  and not even having had a picture of him were I to make boast to my friends for seeing him in real life was all the more annoying. But on a lighter note, what would you guys rather I do to save any future disappointments with the phone, or with the Power distribution people.

Should investing in a camera or a phone with a powerful precision do the trick???

*Kisses*