If I were To Rename Nigeria, I Would Like To Call Her Paranoia

A lot of us by now may have seen the new N100 notes that just got circulated this past Friday. What do you guys think of it? Personally, I think it’s the prettiest of all the naira notes we have as of now. May be the Federal Government and the Central Bank may have plans for the other denominations but that I doubt very much. I do know that the N100 was only printed in celebration of  the centenary. I make bold to say that these new bills could pass for an euro bill or a pound note. (You could argue in your bed).

 Amid all the excitements, I tell you some are seated in one corner getting all paraoid about how long this is going to stay before another note resurfaces. Are you kidding me? Why don’t we at least enjoy now and worry later

Today, I paid someone for the services they rendered, but of course from the new N100 bills and  tonight, she called to tell me that she went to the market and was refused to buy food. That the people she tried buying food from told her that the money isnt from Nigeria. At first I thought she exaggerated the gist a little, but then I found out that she was telling the truth. She was illiterate, and so were the people at the market. When I paid her for the services she had rendered me in the morning, was she blind to not have noticed what money was given to her? The currency says Central Bank of Nigeria. Shouldn’t they have known by now how to spell NIGERIA? I would be happy spending new notes, or for the sake of getting people's attention to make them ask for change from me. Don’t you guys think?

Everyone in this country is either paranoid about who is winining next year’s election, or whether their neighbor has been sent from their village to witch- haunt them. We get very worried over the littliest things and this bothers me.

 

Apologies for a TARDY POST

I decided to write today for a variety of reasons. because it has been exactly two months I last blogged. Not really, more importantly, I had to hold myself accountable; who leaves their work undone? Errm, not me! I had told myself that tonight I must right all the wrongs I did to myself and to YOU guys.  I would like to specially thank some of you friends that have become family for asking  continuously what might have gone wrong with my blog post. For all I know, nothing will EVER go wrong again. I promise to bring you guys more and more laughter, and as always, your comments are very much welcomed.

Sincere apologies for having gone MIA.

Thank you MUCHOS..

What My YORUBA Friend Taught Me About Eating Etiquette

Apparently, I have been self opinionated and pompous to have believed that once I make an utterance of being full- after eating that it is, a drum will be rolled out in my honor. I lied.

As you may already know, I love to eat akara at least 3 days /week (and now please do not ask me what I eat them with) lol. So after eating, I said “oh I am full” hoping that what would follow my statement would be something in the lines of Thank God, you wouldn’t have to whine or fuss about not eating breakfast since you already had a huge meal. I was again wrong! What followed instead was the opposite. My colleague goes ‘Hey you don’t say something like that, IMAGINE! You have already said that like three times already’. He continues to say that in his tribe, what I said would automatically be misconstrued as a proud statement. Instead you say, Thank God for provision. I know that most culture in Nigeria like to attribute everything to God or god, (sometimes they put all two in the same pack), and like me, always operate a faith-based life, and hence always believe that God comes down literally to tend to our daily needs. I must say that while I know that is the case for many households in Nigeria, there are individuals or even families who also think otherwise. What do I know?

P.s For those with a different opinion, please share your thoughts I'm listening.

 

Xo.

Yayyy! I am VICTORIA’s Role Model

I have been the one to look up to people… This I have been doing since I realized I was growing mangoes on my chest. I had thought it was a wonderful experience or one of those bragging rights of any woman to be able to say they look up to someone because of reason A or B.

The job market in Nigeria has made me cry blood if ever I was to get away with any of my exaggerations…Little did I know that today, would be my happiest day. And oh, by the way, if any of you still know about that Facebook nomination the one that people get to be nominated by friends to say what they are grateful for, please tag me.

It happened that a teenage girl (who I think just got her periods today, not sure why I feel this way about her though. lol) and her mom came by my office today. Actually, this happens to be her second visit, and we discussed about a variety of things INCLUDING life (Not like I know where I’m headed myself, but I could have swore that I gave her a honest opinion about where her life should be headed in some five, six years down the lane. Anyways, before they could stand back to their feet, her mom just said “its no surprise my daughter looks up to you”. I asked her what she really meant, but she gave me that eye look smiling and said nothing.  And it’s not like I’ve seen them before other than the first consultation last week, which I am sure didn’t last no more than 30 minutes. Then again, I was excited, I was giddy at the thought of it, that this mother made this open confession, and here am I thinking that the only person that could possibly be looking up to me should be my daughter. After all, in my right, I birthed her, I have sworn to lead by example, and she will have no choice than to do my bidding. The statement made me realize that I had to be grateful for the little things. I didn’t have to have a big job, hold a political office, or have had 4 or 5 children, or remained married(as some people still think these are the only standards to qualify one as a role model in our society) but right HERE is a girl- a single mother, one who holds a job that is nothing compared to her equals. Oh! It’s such great news to my soul and I pray that God blesses Victoria and her mama.

The Ninth Month and Its Implications

My guess is that by now, as in being in the ninth month many of you would have achieved that year long plan of getting a good job, getting engaged, married, birthing your kids, either in this order, or vice versa. No kidding! Then again, it’s September, and we are only three months away from the end of 2014 which begs the question as to whether our set goals have been attained or not. There may be those who have no goals to begin with, but have since January been going head on with every other month like it’s their making. I do not want to judge anyone you know why? Not like I’m fully in either camp, but just that sometimes I can’t even find where I belong. I experience the guilty pangs of not confronting a deadline head on, and  not fully committed at them. I hope that the purpose of today’s post is to encourage you guys as with myself that for the fact that things may not be panning out as we had hoped, we can still stay focused, and encouraged that  our rewarding days lay ahead.

Hold on! Hold out!!

Ladies, Do You Apply Lotion to Your Tits, Tummy and Thighs?

 

I have asked three people though as is not enough evidence that this may be a good or a bad idea. I am helpless as well as clueless that I have come asking you guys to please tell me who came up with this.  Well, I also have researched this many times over, and there seems to be not even one correlation between loose skins/ stretch marks and body lotions.

I love me, and I am unashamedly going to show you a picture of my "after-bath routine"; I love to caress those breasts when applying lotion. I like to do that myself again another reason I enjoy applying lotion in the mornings and at nights. My mom got me scared as hell when she told me that applying lotion on my breasts, tummy and thighs could potentially make them lose their elasticity. Ela- what? I ain't finna let that happen (In my Alabaman voice). I cannot imagine them losing their elasticity, which pushed me to the internet to find answers. Oh, and by the way, I didn’t tell ya that you can be privy to information online, and on various subjects too....Hmm, ever heard of the saying that goes thus “Yanga dey sleep, trouble go wake am.?  I was of course looking for lasting solutions to the damage I may have caused my skin from everyday lotion application when I stumbled upon this one that puts everything into perspective. “Stretch marks cannot be virtually removed fully without surgical procedures.. and you shouldn’t even think of spending tens of thousands of dollars for a tummy tuck because weight gain might cause newer ones to resurface. This right here is one cold hard truth. What I thought I have been doing since was to rid the lines formed in my dermis and the only way I thought I could possibly be doing so was by applying lotion to make my skin firmer or tighter if you will.

In essence, there was no one article on why you shouldn’t lotion caress your tits, tummy or even thighs when you are applying your lotion  as newer marks might appear whether from a dermis  which is by virtue of being pregnant (and odds, are you will get them too especially by genetics) or by weight gain. You might just want to check in with your dermatologist to be sure of the properties/content of your lotion, as a preventive method against skin cancer. I could even sense that some of you rub your tummy in a circular motion while saying those silent prayers hoping to show off a baby bump soon. I know right.. That in itself is not wrong. Please if that makes you tick, please go for it, while I keep at mine too. Lol

Have a fantastic Friday!

Photo Credit : wikihow/images

 

1 MINUTE read!

I know the world may be hard on some of us, and I do not intend to make heavy or less whatever load it is you may be carrying. I also know that a lot of people are going through hard times. In fact, what is there not to be bothered about with the mass killings (Feel free to insert any Country of your choice), defections with political parties, with  over 200 girls who haven’t since been brought back home, public cry for basic needs such as good roads,  electricity and security..

Just know that someone somewhere has it worse than you. Sounds cliché right? Yes, but that’s just the reality. No need shouldering all of the world problems on your sleeves thinking that you can solve them all. Here’s a brutal truth, you can can’t solve any, not even one.

Live your life like it’s yours alone to LIVE, one day at a time!!!

Peace.

10 Popular Phrases/ Advises that MEAN differently to ME- Part 1.

1.      Do not air your dirty linen in public; I ask, so please be honest when you answer. What makes your ‘content’ dirty? Who considers it dirty to begin with? As always, I like to use myself as a 'scapegoat'- not literally though. When one blogs about their personal experiences, it easier for them to talk about their lives without ever batting an eye. That way their readers find their posts relatable. One example is, reading through my full profile, you may find that I just openly “confessed’ about my Hello Kitty collections. While some may find this odd that a 29 year old is gushing about her demons, thus consider this   secrets or dirty laundry. In reality, I swear, I feel like I’m the healthiest when I open up.

2.      Like Father, like son; this phrase or advise (if you will) mean differently to me than it means to other people. Here is why. It embodies both a negative as well as positive meaning. If a man is successful, and his son is seen going towards that lane, it makes it easier to make such assumptions. It is negative because I know of a family, whose head deserves an award for philandering…. I may be going on hear say as I’ve never caught him red- handed. Lol. When I was going to find out about his son, I was told that his son was no way near his father. That he was a good boy. It didn’t even take me long to discover that the opposite holds true. He was nasty. He was a hard core cheat. And he lied too. Check that!

 

3.      The Grass is not always greener on the other side; I can’t tell you guys how many times I have heard this phrase. This phrase is for people contemplating a job change, or are always “shooting Nigeria down” by accusing the government for any misfortune..For me, once I listened to Justin Bieber' s song (As long as you love me), I want to believe that the phrase should be ‘the grass is always greener where you choose to water it. Simply put, I will expect as much as I must have invested into. Simple?

4.      Early to bed, early to rise; I love my bed… Sometimes, I sleep way too early than my tot whom we share the same bed. (That is bad ehn). Anyhoo, I’d like to say that it doesn’t always mean that if you go to bed early, you always almost most wake up early. For me, the opposite is always the case. Let’s just go over my routine.. go to bed early, wake up late, and go to bed late, wake up early(especially if you must fix breakfast, report to work, and take the kids to school).

5.      Call a dog a bad name and hang it; who doesn’t like to get rid of bad nonsense? Well, I do! This is our very existence-Seeing the bad in other people and analyzing them like we live in the same house as them. Often times, we are quick to pointing fingers and forget that when we are pointing one and a half fingers at someone, we have three pointing right back at us..In essence, if you must engage in name calling, make sure that there is no peace for the wicked.

Losing Faith in Humanity? No one has got it altogether!

"You must not lose faith in Humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 I hear this a lot, I'll never trust her, no, never! Here is a quote I picked up from this community I joined on Google+, it is called “Newbie Bloggers.” It is one to remind everyone and ME of how important it is never to lose faith in people. Wasn't it the prodigal son that came back home? Wasn't it Saul (Paul) who later brought many souls to salvation? 

Again, with all of the going-ons in our country as well as all around especially when we turn on the TV, we start to curse on our leaders because of the too many atrocities... And in our neighborhood? when we hear that this certain uncle we held up high just robbed a bank, or that sister from the church next door is just too busy giving out free cookies to ignore everyone else. Immediately, we become a judge in our own right and conclude that this person or that person is a thief,  a slut, or a murderer, and as such restrict our dealings with only a few people we consider are "without sin" or even "holier than thou.".  We also tend to forget that under normal circumstances, they may not be bad, they are not all that we tend to project them. Majority of the time, it's their choices that have made them hypocrites in our eyes.

 

Love Always,

Gift.

 

Letting go...

Ever had an intense conversation with a friend where they keep telling you to let go?  Have you ever wondered what they really mean? This expression mean differently to different people, no doubt. But the one common thing is that they are trying to tell you loosen up like they know there could be more, but you are not just willing to spill. You should count yourself lucky when those you trust make such comments.

It was a phone call I got yesterday that stirred all of these emotions in me yet again, and Geez! I can’t believe that for 11 months plus I am still hurting. I had to talk myself out of it only yesterday when I remembered coming across this phrase of ‘Forgiving the offender even if they don’t deserve it.’  As this can be so profound, it can be so true. I know I’m about the only one holding unto some hurts, and you guys are not right? *scratches head* 

This morning, I was reading my devotional and VOILA! It was so similar to what I had experienced yesterday. I learned that forgiveness is a condition for our own forgiveness according to Matt 6: 14-15, as this could be evident in our physical and spiritual well being too. I know that many times we berate ourselves for being so gullible. And like me, I had to evaluate my relationships/ friendships, that I often ask myself what exactly went wrong.  For example, I have asked myself what happened to the red flags, or what made them not so evident to the point I ignored them? Again, this doesn’t change the fact that whatever happened, has happened, end of chapter!

 If you’d ever take something away from today’s post, it is this; the offender is never affected in all of this. Those days or nights you stay asking some rhetoric questions, blaming yourself on how things should or shouldn’t have played out, you end up doing yourself a disservice; you are suffering, and doing all of the thinking alone. Just think about that for a second! Please let them go, so that you could totally release yourself from the guilts, hurts and pains, and you’ll find that the benefit to you would be enormous.

It's WED-NES-DAY!

I know you guys like me, always look forward to mid-weeks...Because 1) you are not in the sick bay, nor are you wasting away at the bar and 3) because you still have some 48 hours to make ‘right’ all the 'wrongs’ from the previous 48 hours… Believe it or not, for me, It is such a big deal to see any Wednesday.

 So, we just got over this 4- day holiday  (even though, my body is yet to accept this fact), and I hate to welcome you guys back on here with such a long post. However, like always I would love to leave y’all with something positive to help kick start your day or better still help you through the remainder of the week. It is a quote by Ambassador Brahimi the Joint Special Representative to Syria for the United Nations and League of Arab States who during a graduation speech in Georgetown University MSFS Class of ’14 encouraged the students to

“Work  for that day of satisfaction, and those 800 days [of frustration] will look like nothing.”

 Moral of this is: Whatever your hands find doing, let it be one that brings you joy, happiness and contentment so that you'll never feel a day frustrated.

Tags: Amb. Brahimi, Georgetown University.

It was Love at First Sight...

It was love at first sight with us.. I saw him and I told him how lucky I was to have met him, and would be glad if he agreed to go home with me..

                                                                   * * *

It was July of 2008 that I said to myself I was going to spoil myself a little by taking a self-planned trip to this much talked about city.. I also met a benefactor who Jehovah used as a blessing to me to help increase my pocket money from 900 USD (Which I originally saved up for the trip)to 2500USD. Believe it or not this happened, but I digress.

As, I boarded this Ethiopian Airways flight with other 170 flight members, I could only think of one thing- meeting someone that we both could make history, that will be much talked about. You know that sorta feeling yeah? I was looking for that special one that would make me feel like butterflies have actually turned my stomach into their playground, so to say... Then, I snoozed off, after what I thought was an affirmation that my trip to Dubai would not only mean fun but could also mean having memories that would last for a lifetime.

As I was seated by the window seat of the said flight, and of course jamming to my ‘Affirmation’ album by Savage Garden, in no less than 30 minutes after that very pretty Ethiopian Air hostess made announcements for our final landing ( I like to believe that that was what I heard)lol. I was awoken by what seemed like a sharp tummy pain. Woo woo woo! I didn’t get my periods  yet. I thought to myself. Oh lord, how can? I had planned on being wild and silly upon meeting this special one. Oh Lord, please by your mercies, don’t allow this go bad for me yet I pray.

We finally landed and I saw myself making my way so fast like a mad girl to the baggage claim (I was very sure that I had hit this woman in her mid 40s. I glide fast before she could even react) so as to hurriedly head out to the Dubai mall. I did my research and had discovered that the must-see place  upon one's arrival was to go to the Malls. Hmmm, who would have thought? By the way that was some 2 years before Burj Khalifa or Burj Dubai officially got commissioned. But anyone on a trip knows that they have to go to the Malls at least before they leave the city.

In that cab ride, which seemed like forever because we crawled in traffic (thanks to me and many other tourists), I was so anxious yet so nervous that I was so close to meeting the ‘one’. And just as we pulled up in front of the mall, and the taxi man told me the cab fare, I handed him 20 Dirham, not minding if I got a change or not, I went south of the mall.

I could immediately tell that it was him, He wasn’t so chocolatey like I had envisioned, but I could tell he loved the fact that I didn’t hold back my feelings (at least he told me this later). He had even noticed me before I noticed him which was good though..lol. I forgot to tell you guys how I got into the store and was going around like I hadn’t found what it was that brought me there in the first place. I turned because I could feel his gaze on me, though terrified that I would be the first to talk to him. I just broke the silence and extending my hand to him, I said hello, not sure I had heard a response, I immediately asked if he could be mine forever, not sure of what he was about to say but it did feel like I was giving him ideas. But I was smug too soon. The vendor, who had since retired to his desk when I started the conversation with him, noticed the way we talked and left us two love birds to be alone. With our hand locked together, I took him with me, and headed to the vendor, he started to tell me how good my tastes for good things were and told me I could take him, my Canon Camera  for just 350 Dirham. That made a whole lot of sense since I was going to keep him with me everywhere I went, and we both would make stories of our lives together. On my part, I vowed never to let go of him forever.

 Awww, so touching right?..     Thank you all for not judging me and my first love. I just had to share the story behind our love....

Bises!

5 Things I hate, the 6th is an ABOMINATION Ep. 2

 Remember the post I first did on this  subject sometime around June?  Well, here is a continuation..Let me apologize early as I would be bringing you 4 more episodes albeit later..*grins.* One of the perks of living in a state that is not your state of origin is that people always assume everyone is their tribe and should be able to understand their language or because you're in their city, there is a law that mandates its residents to be able to speak and understand that certain language. Nah, broda/ sista e no dey work like that.. Should I fault this? No! On the contrary this has to be to be to my advantage especially when it comes to bargaining at the market.  This is common place among the Hausas. I hear buying food stuffs can be that cheap if you know your onions- as in if you can speak basic to fluent Hausa.  On the other hand, this could also be a bad idea when you start off a conversation in English and they become offended either tagging you as one who’s ‘forming” not to speak a certain language (Yoruba or Igbo). Hmmm, people can go this far to make such assumptions. That's by the way. 

The other day I was at this market, and this brother (onion seller) who obviously wanted to talk idly said “aunty high- heel” in Yoruba and was shocked that the ‘aunty high- heel’ could also cuss in Yoruba. Fancy that! Lol.

Please for the sake of your holiness, if you fall under this category of people that always talk in ‘your own language’ because you think others don’t understand, can you stop making a fool of yourself? Have you not heard of the term “Global Village?” The world is going global, if it hasn’t already, and yes, us black people can even speak Chinese Mandarin, Polish and Hangul just to name a few…If your potty mouth wants to poop so badly, why don’t you just wait until that certain person has left earshot before you can begin any of your talks. Personally, I like to speak English to people upon making acquaintance with them (to avoid any disappointments of having them tell you for instance, I’m not Igbo blah blah blah).  And if we start getting chitty- chatty, I can now switch to my native tongue (again, that’s dependent upon the strong and might hands of the Holy Ghost).  Picture this. You switch to your native language and the person starts saying your Igbo or Yoruba isn’t close to what they’ve ever heard. Wouldn’t you just stay in the English lane and pretend that that never happened?

P.S Watch out for the subsequent episodes, and I promise that you’d be able to relate to one or all six of them.

Love always,

xoxo

#YOLO….5 Reasons you shouldn’t be YOLO-ING!

Hello guys! Apologies for the tardy post.. Yours truly had just recently gone through a difficult time this past week. From having my tooth temporarily replaced, and also having contacted a pink eye (for straight 4 days now) from my bean stalk lol…Thank you for sending those warm greetings!

For the love of all that is holy can we stop saying this YOLO for the following reasons;

1.      It is not an excuse to post an Instagram Selfie with that caption. Someone goes partying wild and naked, and next thing they upload a picture and caption it : YOLO. Are you this serious?!

2.      You’ve embarrassed yourself or someone else and tried to excuse it by declaring YOLO

3.      I just think that as an ADULT there should be some certain boundaries we need to set in life. Like seriously, a word like this shouldn’t even be in our dictionary whether it was intended for pun or not. I'm sure some so-called 'cool kids' hate to be associated with these. So why are the adults the ones having fun with all of these?

4.      You own personalized clothing with #SWAG, #YOLO, #EZEEGO and so on boldly printed on them. How can you be taken seriously?

5.      Last, just MAKE IT STOP (in Joan River’s voice). Because it’s like you’re making a MOCKERY of the creator Himself by telling him Hey! I own me, and He might surprise you with what He’ll do just next.

Have a fantabulous Saturday! I am just going to go out and jump ropes..

Tags: Cosmo, Magazine, Online,  Joan Rivers

Do you really deserve all of the Good Things in Life?

Like seriously, do we really deserve all of the fancy cars, fancy homes, pairs of shoes, nice clothes, wealth, and over all good health? YES! At some point in our lives, each of us have had to go through hell or high water (especially some of us that were born without any silver spoons) and feel that asking for one or all of the above wouldn’t and shouldn’t really be problematic. Regardless the fact that one was born with or without a spoon we still believe it’s God-given to be in possessions of all of the above and hence, the need to break forth.

If I must go the Biblical route, everything good comes from the Father above... If we profess that we are created in the image of Christ, then the more reason for us to be in good health, to be rich, to enjoy our naps, sleep, own jets, and more.  Don’t let anyone make you feel like there is a price tag on any of those. No, there really isn’t!

Anyway, don’t stop believing that all things are yours!

Stay Fabulous, its only MONDAY!

Word of the Day

         Compliment People.

Magnify their strengths,

 Not their weaknesses.

Hey Lovers! I hope that while you guys are honing your craft, you are also able to have introspection… When do I compliment people, do I really wait for them to do likewise? NO! Personally, it’s an act of kindness in the sense that the person whom you just complimented may be going through a hard time or may have just had a bad day, and you just swinging by, and telling them those words could literally melt their hearts.

Be inspired to join those who constantly see the good in people and tell them, rather than those who notice other people’s weaknesses but THEIRS and see if your life wouldn’t turn around for the better..

Tags: Khloe Kardashian, Instagram

Do you prefer the 80s love to the Millennial Love?

Do you guys think that what people call love these days is just a farce as with some relationships/ marriages? Share with me a letter that was written by my Dad (R.I.P) 20 years ago to the love of his life- Mother that is *files nails* lol

                                                                                                                      7^th June, 94

Nkem Darling,

I hope you must have received my message through Mr. Akaoke and that you are trying to cope still. How are you and the children? I know the strong remains of that of loneliness, insecurity and ‘fear’ but they should all be vanishing now.

I hope you are still your old self? This June is the time by God’s grace. You will get all you have missed. I do wish to meet you very healthy and with ‘enough skin’ but not too fat. I decided to write to assure that I am okay. I am enclosing some money for your use.                                                                                

                                                                                                                    Your Love
                                                                                                                    Chuks..

Actually, the letter was long, but I’d like to lay emphasis on a few things. To say that the love people express these days is nothing short from disappointing is a better word for it. Little wonder some ladies/men mutter ‘I don’t want to get married’. Do I blame them? NO! Many feel like they are yet to find one, cause if the ma/woman they are  presently dating will be the same replica of a husband/wife they’d rather remain single. I am not in any way trying to compare the 70s, 80s, even 90s love with ours. Errrmm, may be, but you'll have to forgive me. So what exactly happened then that has ceased from happening in our time? In the past, very little people owned land phones, yet that didn’t stop dad to resort to letter writing. Presently, we literally live in the age of technology, yet, some wouldn’t even call or text their partners to ask how they been doing even if they took a WALK away from home. I have also heard that in Nigeria most men believe that once a woman is married to them, there wasn’t any need for the chase and that the only time they buzzed, texted or called per second was when they were still trying to woo their women- long hiss! Others would also say that since they were going to see their women later that day, or say return from a trip soon, that it made no sense trying to ‘waste’ call credit. (Now, ask yourself this. Does any of the above sound logical?) Yet, you guys will create more than enough time for things that don’t matter ehn kwa?

A man has to provide for his family. I expect that she understands that I’m always busy. (Oh, Brother, you should be lucky you have the ability to, because many are 6 feet below). This excuse is making me want to puke. You must also be aware that when you don’t make her your priority, another man will. It is that simple. What makes you think that our fathers or men in the 80s or even before didn’t commit to their wives amid the I-m-busy-chasing-paper lyrics?

More recently, I hear that because the women our days nag this has made it justifiably the reason love may seem to have eroded. Also, because the woman has added many pounds/ kilos that has made me love her less. Guy, you must be on dope or sizzrup to say the least. When you married her, was she as obese as you want to paint her now? Why don’t you tell her how you’d love for her to retain her size, or even help her achieve that.  Just because you feel she’s got those cellulites, stretch marks, sagged boobs, and so on suddenly you lost interest in the woman you said you’d spend your whole lifetime with? Purleease gimme a BREAK!

While I know that love many not entirely be the center of a RELATIONSHIP but Friendship, let alone the reason for marriage in the first place. I still think that one should be able to respect , tolerate, communicate, be open as well as loving to their partners so much that that they can stay yours . Real men are dedicated to ONE woman when they are involved with that WOMAN!

P.S   Ladies and Gents if you liked/ enjoyed this post, please feel free to leave your comments below, else I will go on a compulsory fast… lol

Photo Credit: Mom’s Archives, 20years in Love, RIP Dadda.

 

Not wanting to have Children?...THINK AGAIN

In recent times, a topic of this nature would always cause emotions and indifference on so many levels. In fact, the internet is spun into frenzy at any slightest Google search on the topic. Lol. I am not going the culture route, before you “cultural voltrons” attack me, after all we all know that we are in the 21^st century and cannot be doing what our parents did even some 3 decades ago. While times have changed, I will not reduce myself to talking about what will happen to those who never want to procreate in “our culture that is”! Back to the matter before us, allow me ask a simple question. If your spouse wakes one day to tell you that they do not want to have children. What would you do? SO I ask you guys to be honest with me would their decision of not wanting to bear you children cause a strain on your relationship?

Well, I think that the reasons could be one for health reasons more than economic hardship. I could also use other reasons such as difficulty( with child bearing as some women may have recounted to their female friends) or low sperm count as the case with the men). And last for fear of a damaged body. You know all those sagged boobs, those stretch marks, and a widened vah-jay-jay (ask your momma this)! Looking at it another way, your real existence is more of a responsibility than wanting to raise and care for a child I mean not like the baby would be needing extra things aside the love, clothes, a beautiful home, and all of the luxuries of this life and more. I would think that anyone who really wants the above should be able to do so to another being without ever batting an eye.. No be so? Again, I am no judge!

For me, I have never known I would be so much in love with another being. At some point, I have always thought myself as a narcissist. Ever since becoming a mother, I mean the moment that my little girl came forth, and that the nurses had to place her on my chest. From the cuddling, and the cries that ensued, I knew just from that moment that I no longer was a narcissist. I could literally give up everything just to make her smile. As if that was not enough, I remember us pulling up to a McDonald’s drive through on one Cold Saturday morning to buy our usual (French fries and Chicken) that is. I yawned, and she goes “Mommy are you tired?” at 21 months. I looked again just so to ascertain it was her speaking to me from her car seat behind. I said yes baby with a tear rolling down my cheek. This is just one of the things that daily endear me to her.  Do I sometimes feel like I’m overwhelmed with taking care of her? Heck yeah! I won’t start making up stories on how she’s such a beautiful girl and one not capable of any wrongdoing. Or that I’ve never spanked her tushy, because then I would be lying, but part of the pain is also good for testing how good a parent you are.

Again, I will not be quick to judge people based on the above reasons of health, economic, social, and physical. But if I were to do this again, I mean if I were to birth more kids, I would do so in an instant..

Hope you guys are honing your craft? Have a good Friday!!!

Say H.E.L.L.O. TO 30!

If you are not 30 yet, don’t fret. Are you 30 and above? Now say A-L-O-H-A! Don’t believe what they say about turning 30! I am not an ageist. So, please before you judge me, at least read what I have to say. I know it is July, like it is the 7^th month and not even the end of 2014 yet so why the fuss? It’s nothing much really, but I am just excited to know that next year, I will be turning the big 30. You know what they say when you’re a 3 decades old? Read to find out more…lol

At 30 I hear that you could fall in love, fall out of love and may be do it all over again. I also hear that you are the happiest when at 30 as this leaves you with  8 years or so to tell your periods to bugger off (at least for those of us that sweat it, I mean hate it to make light the word). I also hear that it’s at this age that your genes are being put to test.  Like the world wants to know if you really got those bods of yours from your mama *winks*.You begin to ask yourself a question that’s often rhetoric. For instance ‘Am I going to look like this for the rest of my life’? And if per chance, you don’t like what you’re seeing, you can begin to work on yourself by keeping fit (I am not an advocate of those superficial or cosmetic procedures, because I can’t guarantee how you’d look with those). For those that want to still have babies, I hear that you’re at your prime at 30, don’t mind all that they say about being 30+ and the difficulties with child bearing).

The most interesting news is that at age 30, a young woman is said to be fulfilled- Like her best days starts off at 30. She begins to think like a 45 year old.  She begins to picture what her life would look like going forward especially when she involves Her maker. She has the tendency to work smart. She just wants to live a guilt-free live. The type that when one tries to tell her otherwise, you could tell them to take a piss off!   She begins to spend quality time with those that matter; she tends to be more focused. Re-evaluate her 5-year or 10-year plan. She understands empowerment. She is committed to being relevant in her community. She understands what loyalty means- as in she knows when to be there for her real friends (Remember, the smaller the circle, the better). She Invests in Real Estate. She plans her will. She travels, spends and save what is left or vice versa. When all would be said and done, when she becomes dead and gone, her memories live on.

H.E.L.L.O. 30!

It’s a spanking new month! Happy 1^st of July guys ):

Every Woman Needs Their Girlfriends…

This blog post was inspired by one that I had read via a mutual friend’s page on Facebook, and I thought it would be very nice to share with you guys so to evaluate your relationships. lol

Lately, I just asked myself if truly I had girlfriends. I mean those ones that you guys could literally cry, laugh and cry again leaning on each other’s shoulders. But the answer I got didn’t quite surprise me. Yes! Because some people are only around you when it’s beneficial. Or could even be all lovey- dovey.  But I digress.

Kari was at the beach some years ago, and could hear the laughter of women in earshot. She presumed they were in their late 60s. Later that day, she was in an elevator with them and commented on how close they seemed, and what made their laughter so loud. They answered that they have been having this beach trip going for twenty years, and have been through everything- cancer, divorce, death etc. The older you get, the more you’ll need them. Oh my goodness! That’s such a long time right? Anyway, I am going to talk about Emily she is the one her friend Kari had blogged about. Emily’s husband (Joe) had died and before his death, Kari knew that the duo were no ordinary couple. They were very close. The death of her husband came as a shock. It happened that when Kari arrived at Emily’s home, she saw that all of Emily’s friends (from adolescence, college, law school, work and motherhood) had driven by or flown in to help plan the funeral. She also reckoned that they all recalled pertinent details of Joe’s life. As I read, I was hoping that the ladies would only handle the small issues while Emily would fill in the blanks. Just because they knew her and her husband well, they did a lot to lighten up their friend.

As I typed, I began to wonder how many of our friends are willing to be vulnerable before their friends.  Especially in our own country where religion and culture are interwoven, people would rather not want to share details of their relationship, and it’s even a taboo for a married couple to share anything with anyone. One would think that in the church, it would have been easier, but no one wants to be purged or judged of opening a can of worms. Times again have changed, especially these days that economic hardships, divorce, unemployment, and high mortality rate is fast becoming a global phenomenon. No one is an island, when all else fails, you girls should be able to do bible study, go shopping, meet each other over lunch and do all other fun stuffs. The older you get, the more you’ll need them to help you cope through life. Every right thinking woman should never do away with their girlfriends.  God uses our women folk to help us become the hands and feet of Jesus. While our male counterparts equally try to do their own best, they simply cannot understand us like ourselves.

Being a good friend also means that you too are a strong and reliable friend. I hope this post comes off as a reminder that our girlfriends matter in good times, bad, laughter and tears, and through the high and lows of our lives. As this is an indicator of who’s really with us, and who is willing to share in our moment of laughter and joy. So next time when we are laughing in an elevator, we would be proud to share the history that makes the laughter, the cries so real that it piques the curiosity of everyone in earshot.

If you enjoyed this article and would like to read more, please visit www.KariKampakis.com

 

Motivational Monday: That Appointed Time

There is nothing I hate more than when I don’t feel like I’m fulfilled or when I feel like I am yet to reach a certain target that I had set for myself. If this is happening or has happened to anyone, then this is relatable. Then again, I just happen to realize that things happen either by chance or it’s another way of God telling us that our time hasn’t come yet. Life really is turn by turn. There is an appointed time for everything as with every man. There is a time you must walk before you drive, another time you must eat a meal a day or nothing at all to eating thrice a day. .. The moment you start to compare your life and or progress with someone else, you miss the goal. Thankfully, competition has never really been my forte. For instance, I know that my destiny is not the same as my daughter’s and vice versa. It makes no sense trying to second guess the answers to all of the whys and what ifs.  So why would I ever want to sweat the things that I do not have instead of focusing and or strategizing on how to be a smart worker?

Moral of this is, whatever gives be content, and knowing that the your own appointed time to arrive is only a few hard work away, will go a long way. Nothing in this life is permanent. The reasons we do not know the answer to our delays are so that they could help us stay humble and content when we must have finally “arrived.”

Remember to put your best foot forward in July as with the remainder of the months in 2014!

All About Me / Love and Sex..... Lesson 2

Remember the 'If you  ever wondered HE could cheat' post  that was posted sometime in May? Well, here is a continuation of that series.  The Lesson number 1 was to trust yourself which makes me move unto the lesson of today

Lesson 2:  Be a 'ME' Before You are a 'WE'

It is better to pursue your career, pick up that job that you deserve, have that bank account you've always wished you had, establish that business idea. So that when things finally go down (not that yours truly is hoping that they do) , you can be able to conveniently bounce back  and forge ahead. Some faithful believers would dismiss this argument, and say to pray that one's relationship never goes south. Do you really blame them? No! They are very right, but I would still stand my grounds on this one that every thinking man in a relationship or not should make it their priority to either do the above or do whatever it is that would ultimately make them happy.

Life can be hard, especially when the society has set standards for us. But believe me guys when I say that this same society will never have your back if you decide never to go with the pack. No one can promise you tomorrow but yourself... In any case, you should be ready to fight some fights alone, and be you not someone who's trying so hard to be a man pleaser or one who loves to live in another person's shadows.

I loved today's weather. Not so hot neither was it so cold. May  be that was the inspiration for the post you think? May be not. Lol.  Cheers to having overcomed that  Monday fear that 'so easily beset us' lol

Letter to My Mom on her Birthday…

Dear Mother,

Just when I thought I had seen, known it all, you continue to inspire me with so much from that well of knowledge that the Almighty himself had endowed you with.. I cannot begin to tell you how much we hate to love all of the morning devotions that you indirectly call out each and every one of us from across the room. I remember the very first time I shaved all of my brows (Titfam you caused it, LOL) a day to my matriculation… and the next morning, you preached about it. Remembering that incident and others (Oh, and that love letter you gave me a scar for accepting a letter from the chap at my GCE lesson) which you’ve spoken about in recent times makes me even more thankful knowing that you have our best interests at heart.

I can’t begin to express all of my gratitude to God for keeping you because then I would be considered an Author in an instant. I know He has many more years, and good things planned out for you. You just need to remain calm and thankful so that He would perfect all of the many covenants He’s made with you. Mom, you give us joy, happiness, and yourself to those whom you make acquaintance with.

I also want to tell you again like I did on Monday of the importance of taking your Calcium, Iron pills, Garlic and Moringa seeds. If possible, I will also look for the bath and laundry soap for you, because our priority for you is to stay healthy and fit, so why wouldn’t you anyway? lol

For being a faithful mother, I do hope that you find humor in that little surprise everyone planned out for you…On behalf of my brothers, sister and Kolombo we want to wish you a Happy Birthday. And we say OWN it mom you still don’t look a day older than 47!

P.S WE LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!

P. P. S it is not late to catch the Moringa fever. It has proven to be very effective. So my dear readers do not wait until later to start.

 

Photo Credit: YourBirthdayQuotes.com

5 Things I hate, the 6th is an ABOMINATION Ep. 1

Hey guys! I know many of you are as terrified as me upon reading the blog title huh? Don’t you worry, you will soon find out why.

Ever Since I moved back to Nigeria.. I am still confused whether to continue to stick to the word relocate or visit… But I digress. Ever since returning back to Nigeria, I have continued to imagine the things that people do here, those that could almost make one’s head explode from thinking them through! In no particular order, you will find out those things that irritate me more than anything else. Again, these are from my own experiences.

Number 1: Unsolicited Advice

When an older woman sees you, or those you perceive to be older than you (say age 35 or so), they always feel the need to offer you a firsthand account on how you should take care of your child. It has been raining cats and dogs these days, and little me, got a cold. I took her to see her peds yesterday. And I was eating akara (which by the way has been a breakfast ritual). Once, we settled in the lobby to have them pull out our card, this woman with her own baby on her back in the rain (hawking puff- puff and donut) came to me,  and here was the short but uncomfortable chat we had:

 Her: “Madam don’t give that girl that dry akara, she needs water”. This made me uncomfortable, and everyone had their gaze fixed on me.

Me: Without holding back, I immediately said you do not have any right whatsoever to tell me how to care for my child. She’s mine and not yours can you just face your business already? Mind you, yours truly knew that was petty to reply to her, (I did because it has repeatedly been happening to me) just while we were walking from the parking lot to the office, She had demanded for water, I gave her. What gives her the right to open her mouth to speak?

Her: In Yoruba she said “emi ko ni dasi oro oloro mo. Translated- I will never have to poke my nose into what’s not my business

Me: Nigba ti e mo be, kilode t’ese d’ake?  Translated- When you knew that common sense like this existed, why did you care?

 Has this ever happened to anyone but ME? Please feel free to share your experiences.

Happy Thursday!